{"id":265,"date":"2013-06-13T10:52:03","date_gmt":"2013-06-13T15:52:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/?p=265"},"modified":"2013-06-13T10:52:03","modified_gmt":"2013-06-13T15:52:03","slug":"the-best-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/2013\/06\/the-best-man\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a story I tell about my friend, Mark.\"mark\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I’ve always had a hard time making friends. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s never been easy for me. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m awkward and tongue tied and I can be kind of boring. Most of the friends I’ve made in my life, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s because I sought them out. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s because I found them interesting and made an effort to get to know them better. \u00c2\u00a0This is true of very nearly every friend I have. In fact, I can only think of two people where that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not true.<\/p>\n

Mark was one of those people. He was someone who sought me out. He insinuated himself into my life. There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s nothing stranger for someone who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s struggled to make friends to suddenly find himself at the business end of attention. To this day, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if I would have sought him out, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be forever grateful that he took the initiative.<\/p>\n

In 1987, as a senior in high school, I was cast as Snoopy in a community theatre production of YOU\u00e2\u20ac\u2122RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN. This was a big deal. For a\u00c2\u00a0high school drama student, a community theatre show was the brass ring. It was the next step up. You were, to quote Steve Martin, somebody.<\/p>\n

That was where I met Mark\u00c2\u00a0Wilson Scarborough. Mark was 11 years my senior, a well-known reporter for the local newspaper, and one of the smartest guys I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d ever met. As Snoopy, I shared much of my stage time with Mark, who played Charlie Brown. That alone should have been a natural segue to friendship.<\/p>\n

But our friendship continued offstage. We spent many late nights in his apartment, him talking about the women he loved, me dreaming about becoming an actor. (Neither of us, it should be said, had much luck in these varied regards.)\u00c2\u00a0 He was an historian, an old soul in a young body, a clever writer, and kind to a fault.<\/p>\n

Mark came into my life at a critical time. My \u00e2\u20ac\u0153rebellious\u00e2\u20ac\u009d years as a teen hit late, and Mark was there to give what guidance he could. He stood by me in the toughest of times. He helped me keep my head screwed on when there was a very real chance it could come off altogether.<\/p>\n

Mark was the first non-family member I came out to. He was instantly supportive and offered encouraging words, knowing what I was about to embark on in letting others I loved know.<\/p>\n

Even when our career paths took us in different directions, we always stayed in touch. When I got married to my wonderful husband in 2010, I asked Mark to be my best man (which I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d done for him when he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d gotten married years earlier). Just weeks before the wedding, he called to ask when the big day was. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s 10\/10\/10!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I yelled at him. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s impossible to forget. We picked that date so YOU would remember it!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (Did I mention he could be forgetful?) But he was there that special day and I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have imagined it without him.<\/p>\n

The last ten years ago had not been kind to Mark. But no matter the problems\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwith his career or his love life\u00e2\u20ac\u201dhe soldiered on, tired smile and all.<\/p>\n

Mark passed away unexpectedly on Monday. When my father called to tell me on Tuesday morning (my birthday, no less), I could hear he was choked up. I immediately assumed something had happened to my brother or sister. Hearing Mark\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s name totally blindsided me.<\/p>\n

I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t whitewash history. Mark was an acquired taste. He could be forceful and stubborn and opinionated and for everyone who adored him and admired these qualities, someone else sneered at the mere mention of his name. His honesty could blister but his generosity was second to none.<\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been a pretty tough week. Tomorrow, my husband and I are headed to Wisconsin for the funeral. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re planning a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153celebration of Mark\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s life.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I really want to do that. I really want to celebrate this wonderful man who made such a difference in who I am, what I believe, and what I want to do with my life. It will be hard. But I owe him a celebration.<\/p>\n

Some very lovely things are being said about Mark online. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a nice balance of fond remembrances and acknowledgment that he could be\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6a handful. (I think he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like that.)<\/p>\n

http:\/\/gazettextra.com\/news\/2013\/jun\/12\/edgerton-journalist-historian-unexpectedly-dies-wo\/<\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.wisconsinrapidstribune.com\/article\/20130613\/WRT01\/306130161\/Love-history-words-helped-define-former-reporter<\/a><\/p>\n

http:\/\/gazettextra.com\/weblogs\/opinion-matters\/2013\/jun\/12\/reflecting-on-mark-scarborough\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Of course, what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll always remember about Mark is that HE sought ME out. He was the first person I can remember who wanted to be my friend. No one else can claim that. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really lucky to say that honor belongs to him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a story I tell about my friend, Mark. I’ve always had a hard time making friends. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s never been easy for me. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m awkward and tongue tied and I can be kind of boring. Most of the friends I’ve made in my life, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s because I sought them out. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s because I found them […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}