{"id":252,"date":"2013-03-26T15:26:12","date_gmt":"2013-03-26T20:26:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/?p=252"},"modified":"2013-03-26T15:26:12","modified_gmt":"2013-03-26T20:26:12","slug":"what-this-heart-means-to-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/2013\/03\/what-this-heart-means-to-me\/","title":{"rendered":"What this heart means to me"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"heart\"<\/a>Today, I changed my Twitter avatar to a heart with an equals sign. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a symbol of solidarity in the fight for marriage equality in this country. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been living under a rock, today is when the Supreme Court heard arguments about California\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s divisive Prop 8. Tomorrow they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll hear arguments about the harmful DOMA. We really are at a crossroads in history. It sounds like hyperbole but I firmly believe it.<\/p>\n

Across Twitter and Facebook, many people\u00e2\u20ac\u201dgay, straight, transgender alike\u00e2\u20ac\u201dchanged their avatars. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll admit, it was a lot of fun to see my Twitter feed fill up with so much red. When Patrick Stewart put his support behind marriage equality, I thought, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oh, man\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6. Captain Picard\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got my back!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

So I was more than a little thrown when I started seeing tweets that said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I support equality but why should I change my avatar? How will that help?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll tell you: it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s about speaking out. More importantly, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s about empathy.<\/p>\n

If you want to know how a simple gesture like changing your avatar for a cause you truly believe in can help, ask someone like Tyler Oakley<\/a>. Ask Dan Savage<\/a>. Ask Rachel Maddow<\/a>. Ask any number of people who live out and proud about being inundated with e-mails and letters, saying what an inspiration they are. Saying how that person gave them hope when their parents threw them out of the house for being gay. Saying how they came to terms with their own sexuality once they saw that it WAS possible to be out and happy (something many closeted individuals don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe).<\/p>\n

LGBT rights have been in the news a lot lately and, in all the hullaballoo, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s easy to think: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153See? There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s lots of attention. Everyone is getting the message.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d But they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not.\u00c2\u00a0 If they were, we wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need the Trevor Project<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been said over and over that one of the best things about LGBT literature, especially for young adults, is that it gives hope. Some kid living in a rural, unaccepting area, afraid for their life, might choose NOT to kill themselves because they read a book that said, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Hey, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re OK being you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d My goal in life is to give as much hope as I can. So I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll write a book in the hopes that someone will connect with how lost the characters feel and then they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll feel less alone. Or I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll change my avatar to say that my thoughts are with what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s happening in Washington. Because maybe someone who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s lost will go through their Twitter stream, see all that red, and think, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not alone.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Changing your avatar is like donning your Packers jersey on the day of the big game. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not going to change the outcome of the game but it certainly engenders a spirit of community and belonging. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m curious if the people questioning the avatar change also look down their nose at wearing purple on Spirit Day. Or wearing pink ribbons in October.\u00c2\u00a0 Do these help anything? I guess that depends on your definition of help. But if you say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d you have a very limited definition.<\/p>\n

Statistics show that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s harder for the conservative elements of this country to condemn us if they know us. If they have a personal connection. (Witness Senator Portman.)\u00c2\u00a0 As much as I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to say that every closeted person MUST come out, I know that, for some people, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just not safe. And I want everyone to be safe. But I also believe that if you CAN come out safely, you should. We need to be heard. Especially for those people who aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t safe enough to speak. It can save lives. I promise you.<\/p>\n

Patrick Stewart didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t change his avatar. But he spoke out. And he didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t question anyone who did the same. It would be easy for Mr. Stewart\u00e2\u20ac\u201da white, straight male\u00e2\u20ac\u201dto stand from a place of privilege and stay silent. But even if he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s never been the target of persecution (and, who knows, maybe he was), he can at least empathize with those who are.<\/p>\n

You support marriage equality and don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to change your avatar? Fine. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your right. I appreciate your support and ask nothing more from you.<\/p>\n

But you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got a lot of gall if you derisively question the possible impact or try to call out those people who are taking a stance, even with a simple gesture.<\/p>\n

How will it help?<\/p>\n

How can it not?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today, I changed my Twitter avatar to a heart with an equals sign. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a symbol of solidarity in the fight for marriage equality in this country. If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been living under a rock, today is when the Supreme Court heard arguments about California\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s divisive Prop 8. Tomorrow they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll hear arguments about the harmful DOMA. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=252"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianfarreybooks.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}