O Editor, who art in New York,

Hallowed be thy brain

Thy red pen comes, thine will be done

In ARCs as it is in page proofs

Give us this day our editorial letter

And forgive us our plot holes

As we forgive those who review against us

Lead us not into the temptation to quote ourselves on Twitter or say we have news we can’t share

But deliver us from Kirkus

For thine are the eyes that have seen our crappy drafts and not told a soul, forever and ever, Amen.

(Note: Writers should feel free to swap out verses that best fit their circumstances. I.e. change New York to wherever your editor is; swap ‘plot holes’ for ‘typos’ if you write non-fiction; insert online author behavior that drives you crazy into the temptations, etc.)